31 Day Film Challenge: Day 26

Day 26 of the 31 Day Film Challenge: The film that should have never had a sequel. There have been bad sequels, but not because they weren't wanted, just the script, execution, or acting were bad. To me, a film that should not have had a sequel is a film that had a definitive beginning, middle, and end, while not warranting the need to see where the characters went after the credits rolled. I would have said Speed 2: Cruise Control was that sequel, but it is what I would call a spin-off. It took only the character of Annie and put her in a different locale with a different supporting cast. The original Speed could have had a sequel, if Keanu had joined Sandra, so we could see the relationship go to the next level. So I finally decided that the film that didn't need a sequel was Gremlins. I was sad but satisfied with the ending and I didn't need to know what happened next. Now, I know where the characters went or what happened next and I was sorely disappointed. It took great memories of the original and tainted them, if only slightly. Gremlins was good enough and definitely did not need Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

80's Trash and Melodrama

I can remember watching Lace the first time it aired in 1984. It was at the height of Dynasty and Dallas on my TV and I was expecting something along those lines, but it turned out to be closer to V.C. Andrews' Flowers in the Attic.

To summarize the miniseries itself will not do it justice. It has to be seen to be believed. Three young girls create a pact never to reveal the identity of who gave birth to a girl.

Sixteen years later the girl returns to get revenge after living the life of a porn queen.

Bess Armstrong plays Judy a midwestern girl who dreamed of writing a novel, but eventually runs her own magazine.


Brooke Adams (using one of the worst accents in the film) plays Pagan a British born aristocrat who marries and becomes Lady Swann and assists her husband with getting donations for his cancer research.


Arielle Dombasle plays Maxine a French girl who starts redecorating the mansion of a count and helps him rebuild his champagne empire before becoming his countess.


Angela Lansbury (using the next to the worst accent in this movie) plays Maxine's Aunt Hortense who helps the three girls cover up the birth of the child while never learning who the real mother was.


Phoebe Cates (using the absolute worst accent in this movie) plays Eurotrash media darling Lili. Lili is now a legitimate movie star after years of porn stardom.


I quoted the famous line in an earlier post, but suffice it to say that she nor you will get the answer until the last minute of the movie.

The accents are horrible and the acting is so bad that it's good. You want to look away but for some strange reason you can't. You get drawn in. I will not be seeing Lace II again. I watched it when it first aired, but without Bess Armstrong (who was replaced by Deborah Raffin) and the impossible reveal of who Lili's father is, it just can't live up to this one.

If you like the trash and melodrama of Showgirls and Valley of the Dolls, then don't miss Lace.

Look for the appearance of Honor Blackman who plays a lascivious lesbian on the make for Brooke Adams.


British Sci-fi fans will enjoy seeing Annette Badland. She played Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen alias Margaret Blaine on Doctor Who, but in Lace she gets the wonderful name of Piggy Fassbinder.


Others like Anthony Higgins, Herbert Lom, Jonathan Hyde and Anthony Quayle appear, but this movie is all about the women. See it if you get the chance.

Arsenic and Old LACE

What's on Wednesday:

My plan for Wednesdays was to review an episode of a television show or review a movie; however, I made the mistake of starting something I couldn't finish.

I recently purchased some TV movies from the Warner Archive collection and they came in this week. Mom Smackley wasn't feeling well, so I popped one in. The winning choice: Lace

If you remember Lace, it concerns a young woman named Lili (Phoebe Cates) searching for her birth mother only to find that it could have been one of three women (Bess Armstrong, Brooke Adams and Arielle Dombasle) who made a secret pact never to reveal who got pregnant.

The problem for me is that I forgot how long it was and that it was a two-parter. I just ended part one when Lili asks "Which of you bitches is my mother?" Well, I didn't have time to write my review, because I still have to make it through part two. So be on the lookout for my review of Lace on Saturday.

The only comment I can currently make is: The acting is right on par with Showgirls.