80's Trash and Melodrama

I can remember watching Lace the first time it aired in 1984. It was at the height of Dynasty and Dallas on my TV and I was expecting something along those lines, but it turned out to be closer to V.C. Andrews' Flowers in the Attic.

To summarize the miniseries itself will not do it justice. It has to be seen to be believed. Three young girls create a pact never to reveal the identity of who gave birth to a girl.

Sixteen years later the girl returns to get revenge after living the life of a porn queen.

Bess Armstrong plays Judy a midwestern girl who dreamed of writing a novel, but eventually runs her own magazine.


Brooke Adams (using one of the worst accents in the film) plays Pagan a British born aristocrat who marries and becomes Lady Swann and assists her husband with getting donations for his cancer research.


Arielle Dombasle plays Maxine a French girl who starts redecorating the mansion of a count and helps him rebuild his champagne empire before becoming his countess.


Angela Lansbury (using the next to the worst accent in this movie) plays Maxine's Aunt Hortense who helps the three girls cover up the birth of the child while never learning who the real mother was.


Phoebe Cates (using the absolute worst accent in this movie) plays Eurotrash media darling Lili. Lili is now a legitimate movie star after years of porn stardom.


I quoted the famous line in an earlier post, but suffice it to say that she nor you will get the answer until the last minute of the movie.

The accents are horrible and the acting is so bad that it's good. You want to look away but for some strange reason you can't. You get drawn in. I will not be seeing Lace II again. I watched it when it first aired, but without Bess Armstrong (who was replaced by Deborah Raffin) and the impossible reveal of who Lili's father is, it just can't live up to this one.

If you like the trash and melodrama of Showgirls and Valley of the Dolls, then don't miss Lace.

Look for the appearance of Honor Blackman who plays a lascivious lesbian on the make for Brooke Adams.


British Sci-fi fans will enjoy seeing Annette Badland. She played Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen alias Margaret Blaine on Doctor Who, but in Lace she gets the wonderful name of Piggy Fassbinder.


Others like Anthony Higgins, Herbert Lom, Jonathan Hyde and Anthony Quayle appear, but this movie is all about the women. See it if you get the chance.